Expectations are traps for all involved.
The best result from setting an expectation is that the expectation is met.
We hear it all the time in business –“manage to expectations” or “setting expectations.”
That’s just crap.
No one wins and most often people end up discouraged or disappointed because the expectation you were managing to was not met or there was never a formal understanding for the expectation.
The best case is if the spoken or unspoken expectation is met.
Close your eyes and think of an area where you are experiencing disappointment or you are discouraged.
It might be in a personal or professional relationship.
It might be with your health or fitness.
Most often the upset is a result of an expectation you had or have with either yourself or someone else.
When the expectations are unmet, we feel discouraged or disappointed.
When the expectations do not align with our reality disappointment is the result.
What is the solution?
The solution is creating agreements.
Most often when we are disappointed or discouraged about ourselves or someone else the source is an expectation that has not been met.
Our experience or reality is misaligned with our expectation.
What if you inserted an agreement and honored your agreement in your personal example noted above.
What would be different?
What would be possible moving forward?
Creating an agreement has no blurred lines.
An agreement is not an expectation and there is nothing expected in an agreement.
An agreement is clear, defined and has no drama.
Expectations are unclear, uncertain, and open to perspective and often times produce drama.
Agreements avoid the upset from the undefined.
Living by and creating agreements is a powerful tool.
Creating and honoring agreements will elevate your power and your capacity to produce results.
This simple distinction will minimize arguments, disappointment and discouragement.
Living by and honoring agreements is a skill and like any skill it will require practice.
Agreements are made with yourself or two or more people.
Be transparent and vulnerable when an agreement is broken.
It is essential to hold others accountable to the agreements they make with you.
Start with simple agreements with yourself and evolve to creating and honoring agreements with family, friends and business associates.
Leading by agreement is a model for all to learn, live and lead.