November 8, 2018 Doug McGhee


Open your heart, your belly and your lungs and roar!!!! LET IT RIP!!!

Really, from the core of your soul go for the freedom, liberation and self expression.

Be like a wild animal in the wild.

I know I know it is not socially acceptable but it sure feels good.

I dare you to go outside or if you are concerned with how you might appear to your neighbors like I was, sit in your car and access that primal wild man inside of you and let it out.

Access your heart and roar.

Men don’t give themselves permission to access this primal power?

Most of us agree doing so is socially unacceptable, dangerous, rude and on and on.

And we also agree it is liberating.

Instead we walk through life, stuffing or swallowing our emotions never learning the skills to access our emotions or how to share them responsibly.

I can hear my mom saying, “don’t be sad.” Or my wife, “don’t be mad.”

And I have shared the same to those I love, mostly because I was uncomfortable with their anger or their sadness.

The patterns begin to form, supported by sustained behaviors where I began to simply swallow my emotions.

Men are taught to be strong, solid, and untouchable.

I walked through much of my life pretending I was “cool calm & collected.”

I was unwilling and unable to feel.

That was the external persona.

It was such an identity and it makes me want to puke now knowing what I missed out on because I was unwilling to be real.

To just feel.

Instead, we learn the opposite.

Inside at times I was raging mad, sad or perhaps incredibly full of joy.

But because I never learned how to allow myself to truly feel and experience these emotions, “negative or positive” I just stuffed them and pretended I was “good or fine.” I was untouchable.

Never high and never low.

So I walked through life pretending I was an emotionless rock, stuffing, sedating, deflecting or denying one of the greatest qualities of the human condition, our emotions our feelings.

Perhaps like me you were taught an acceptable range of emotions and that safe zone became your baseline.

Never stretching far beyond it.

Then the internal hurricane lands followed by guilt, shame and regret for the irrational actions.

There is too much of this in our culture.

At the extreme levels these actions end with senseless tragedy.

These are actions of week and unconscious men.

As an experiment, consider the following exercise.

What are five emotions you experienced this week?

Go ahead write them down- Examples.
Joy, Anger, Frustrated, Jealous, Excited, Love, Peaceful, Happy or Sad.

Next on a scale of 1 -10

One being dead and ten being at the top of the emotional spectrum.

Write a number next to each emotion. Be honest.

What do you see?

What do you feel?

What can you learn from the exercise?

The safe zone is never too high or never too low.

A good ole five is safe.

M E D I U M = B O R I N G

What would be possible if you actually allowed yourself, gave yourself permission to experience and feel?

Can you feel the sadness, anger, and fear?

Can you feel the incredible joy, love and excitement?

When we limit the negative emotions we also limit what is possible in the “feel good” emotions such as joy, love, excitement, deep connection with our partners or our children.

By neglecting the “not feel good” emotions, we limit the “feel good emotions.”

We limit our connection with ourselves as well as those we love the most.

Oh and by the way they are only emotions and feelings – give yourself a pass to go beyond M E D I U M = B O R I N G and to the wild side.

Take the ceiling off and answer the call of the wild.

Give yourself permission to roar and experience one of our greatest gifts: our ability as humans to emote, feel and connect.

Experience the connection that men desire: the connection with our families, our friends and ourselves.

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