Empathy is not for the weak of heart…

I feel your pain…

Perhaps something you may have said yourself…

Why do women naturally relate to others’ pain or joy…

Why might women have greater empathy?

EMPATHY is the ability to understand and experience feelings of others.

Being empathetic brings a new experience to our hearts.

Science proves that empathy begins in our brain.  

To know and experience the feelings of others. 

This can be challenging for humanity.

Especially for men. 

Why are women more empathic?

From research at UCLA:

“Data suggest that females are better at feeling others’ pain, at really getting the feeling that the other person is having right now. Female participants in the study showed relatively higher activation in a sensory area of the brain associated with pain than their male counterparts.”

Read the full article here


In other research this is referred to as mirror neurons.

The brain mirroring the experience of another.

Recently I shared much in the area of feelings and emotions.

What is possible for men who deliberately travel down this adventurous road? 

My realization is that until I experience my own feelings, sensations and emotions my ability to be empathetic will be limited.

Men set up a protective bubble and safety zone.

We check our emotions. Hide what we are feeling. Or often make what we are feeling wrong by judging ourselves for feeling. 

Consider that we can’t argue with what we are feeling. 

But we can allow ourselves to experience it and then find our way through the experience.  At times this can be uncomfortable, uncharted territory for many men. 

The alternative is to resist which will intensify the experience and retain the energy associated with the feeling. 

Resistance often creates greater internal pressure.  And if we don’t have the tools we will shut down. 


It’s too much to handle…pull the rip cord and check out… or escape. Isolate to safety.

Man cave here we come. 

Men are under immense pressure. 

The pressure…

Of being an entrepreneur…

An executive responsible for a region’s P & L.

A CEO responsible for the livelihood of your employees.

A father responsible for providing for his family.

A husband. 

It goes on and on. 

At times this can be a burden…

It can be heavy…

Resisting and avoiding intensifies the experience. 

Bigger problems surface. 



Avoiding our emotions leaves us void of others’ experiences. 

The mirror neurons don’t fire in the same way as those who are empathetic. 

There is nothing right or wrong about any of this.

But there is another possibility.

Another path.

My intent is to share and help men experience what might be possible. 

Beyond the sedation, avoidance and ultimate separation.

When I am separated from others.




I am not experiencing others.

I am barely experiencing myself.

And my attention and focus is on myself. 


Unaware of others’ emotional state…

I am apathetic…

Not empathetic…

Curious why I felt alone at times in my life.

Even when I was in a room with a hundred people.

I realized the bubble, security or safety that I thought was essential for survival was holding me back from what I wanted.

What we all want.

It is human nature. Or perhaps human nurture. 


My heart and soul want connection.

My ego wants protection.

My ego wants to survive.

Both are valuable for humanity.

One is not better.

Or worse. 

Both exist for a reason. 

Knowing and understanding supports our growth as men.

Women are more empathic?

Brain related or not. 

Men will have to work harder to be empathetic.

Leaders, husbands, fathers, friends, sons, brothers. 

What is possible is to experience all ranges of emotions, low, high and mid-range emotions.

To experience the gray zone of emotions.

Empathy will organically occur as a result of our ability to experience and be responsible for our own emotions.

It starts with me.

And it starts with you. 

But the impact ripples throughout humanity.

Let’s begin.

Doug McGhee
Founder of Realm.Men