Expectations are traps for all involved.

The best result from setting an expectation is that the expectation is met.

Big deal.

We hear it all the time in business –“manage to expectations” or “setting expectations.”

That’s just crap.

No one wins and most often people end up discouraged or disappointed because the expectation you were managing to was not met or there was never a formal understanding for the expectation.

The best case is if the spoken or unspoken expectation is met.

Close your eyes and think of an area where you are experiencing disappointment or you are discouraged.

It might be in a personal or professional relationship.

It might be with your health or fitness.

Most often the upset is a result of an expectation you had or have with either yourself or someone else.

When the expectations are unmet, we feel discouraged or disappointed.

When the expectations do not align with our reality disappointment is the result.

What is the solution?

The solution is creating agreements.

Most often when we are disappointed or discouraged about ourselves or someone else the source is an expectation that has not been met.

Our experience or reality is misaligned with our expectation.

What if you inserted an agreement and honored your agreement in your personal example noted above.

What would be different?

What would be possible moving forward?

Creating an agreement has no blurred lines.

An agreement is not an expectation and there is nothing expected in an agreement.

An agreement is clear, defined and has no drama.

Expectations are unclear, uncertain, and open to perspective and often times produce drama.

Agreements avoid the upset from the undefined.

Living by and creating agreements is a powerful tool.

Creating and honoring agreements will elevate your power and your capacity to produce results.

This simple distinction will minimize arguments, disappointment and discouragement.

Living by and honoring agreements is a skill and like any skill it will require practice.

Agreements are made with yourself or two or more people.

Be transparent and vulnerable when an agreement is broken.

It is essential to hold others accountable to the agreements they make with you.

Start with simple agreements with yourself and evolve to creating and honoring agreements with family, friends and business associates.

Leading by agreement is a model for all to learn, live and lead.


Your stories suck, literally they are sucking the life energy from you. They are creating resistance and dysfunction in your relationships, health and professionally.

Consider that much of our upset and suffering we experience in life are the result of our inner narrative and stories.

Your story about “not being inspired professionally” is the source of you not being inspired professionally.


You story about “your wife not wanting to have sex with you” is the source of your wife not having sex with your wife.


It can’t be that simple.

What if our stories were what was creating our current life experiences?

What is common for all of us is to focus on the external “problem” professional or personally and then look for solutions to change the problem.

New job, new wife or fix this or fix that.

What if the “problem” wasn’t the problem, what if it was as simple as you relate to the problem that is ultimately the problem?

Be curious and explore your relationship with the problem and you will begin to experience an opening in how you relate.

The formula that buries most of us:

Story X Feeling + Focus = Reality

* The story is amplified by a feeling about the story, which is where our attention is drawn and ultimately what we experience.

We invest in the story, which is fueled by the feeling produced, by the story and then we focus on that entire mess creating unfavorable realities.

So what gives?

Be honest with yourself, be real and drop the drama.

Tell the truth and get to the facts.

What actually happened?

When we blend or confuse what happened with a story we loose the opportunity to view the situation from an objective or neutral perspective.

Two fail safe options.

1) Ask yourself is this true?
2) Ask yourself what are the facts about the situation?

Once you connect with the facts, truth or what happened the formula shifts to:

Facts X Feelings + Focus = Reality

I assure you that you will have more of the life you desire and less drama and upsets.

What are you reacting to in life today? Try this formula.


Being You!

Being U-nique!

I took this photo during an epic solo journey of the Camino de Santiago in Northern Spain.

Thousands embark on this pilgrimage annually and as a celebration of life and for my 50th birthday, I decided to do a self-supported mountain bike trek for the 540 pilgrimage in September 2016.
Read more


The bigger our visions are the more opportunities there are for distractions.

Today I was distracted with a variety household responsibility. The rental properties need to be winterized, bills need to be paid; I have a list of tasks to handle to move Realm.men projects forward, I want to exercise. On and on and on!

My thinking was everywhere but it was not here now. Read more


Rich Litvin is a masterful coach and introduced a game to me several years ago.

The game is called Outrageous October. To play the game, you agree to do something outrageous by your standards on every day in the month of October.

The value of the game was to move people out of their comfort zone and mindset to a new experience of what was possible. By challenging their comfort zones. Be comfortable being uncomfortable. Read more


The benefits of green smoothies are many and varied — they’re easy to digest, keep you hydrated, increase your energy, get your skin glowing, and more. They can include spinach, lettuce, kale, and collard greens.

The amount of vitamins you’ll get depends on the fruits and vegetables you choose for the smoothie. However, most fruits and vegetables are high in vitamins A and C. Guava is also high in folate, while avocados provide high amounts of potassium and magnesium.  When juices are extracted, you get vitamins and minerals but no fiber. Read more

REAL.MEN is an experiential movement that will awaken men to their purpose and to live a multi-dimensional life of Vitality, Leadership, Heart and Truth.